in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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