Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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