can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
