i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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