Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
