Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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