The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
