i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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