I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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