You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize