she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She bit a glass in half.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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