Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize