I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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