Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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