don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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