Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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