i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
