dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
