Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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