the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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