is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
