He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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