I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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