i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize