He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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