toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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