so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have fence marks all over my body
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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