Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
