More tranny stories later!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
