Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize