this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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