It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
