I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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