I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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