I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
