Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
