She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize