it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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