But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
