dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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