Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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