im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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