i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
