the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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