If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
