My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
