im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
