It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
