This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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