I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize