You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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