garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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