Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
