There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
