So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You were trust falling into bushes
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
