dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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