Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The uberlube is also flammable
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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