I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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