a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
