k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
